"Mi a go settle down but no now," said the workman responding to my question about when he plans to settle down with a woman. I went on to tell him that he's robbing that woman of a young virile husband. "We don't want to be your nurse," I said.
So why do men refuse to commit? The reasons are endless! Because, boy can they hatch a story!
FREEDOM
They want to be free to come and go as they please without being accountable to anyone for their whereabouts. Having a woman at home means they have to tell her where they're going, with whom and when they will return. This is a huge problem for some men.
RESPONSIBILITY
The added responsibility of thinking about the welfare of another human being is a deterrent for some men. This can be especially daunting if the prospect is somewhat needy or demanding.
TRUST
Past experiences tend to shape the future for men. When a man gets his heart broken, he is likely to take a long time to be vulnerable with another woman again. Every new woman has the yeoman's task of proving herself as better and more sincere than the one who broke him. Quite frankly, women seem to bounce back from heartbreak better than men. Men are simply not very forgiving.
VARIETY
There are those men who still enjoy the idea of picking up a new lady here and there occasionally, claiming they haven't found that one woman to stop them in their tracks.
CONFUSED
Some men just don't know what they want. They want a committed relationship but don't want the conditions that come with it, such as spending quality time with the partner, making plans for the future, marriage, children, and so on.
TIMING
Some are just not ready. It's not the right time. In some cases, they want more time to sort their finances, education, career, etc.
But instead of viewing a relationship as an albatross, men should look at the positive aspects.
According to Couple for Life, these are some benefits of being in a committed relationship:
• REGULAR, SAFE, GOOD SEX: Committed, monogamous partners have more, and better sex than singles and non-committed partners.
• COMPANIONSHIP: We are social beings and are comforted by closeness. Married people are healthier, happier, and live longer than singles.
• INTIMACY: Emotional closeness, love, trust, mutual support, builds and improves over time in a committed relationship, and is much more difficult to achieve in quality and quantity outside of a committed relationship.
• FAMILY: Both children and adults thrive in an environment of stable, long-term, multi-generational relationships.
• ECONOMICS: Committed couples are financially more successful than singles and non-committed partners.
• COMMUNITY: Extended family, neighbors, churches, and other forms of networks of supportive relationships thrive on the stability of committed relationships.
• MENTAL/EMOTIONAL/PHYSICAL HEALTH: Married adults live longer and have fewer mental/emotional problems.
Relationships can be beautiful and should be enjoyed in our youth. But no woman should have to fight for one. It is a recipe for disaster. If your prospect displays the signs above, it's best to leave him be until he is ready. In the meantime, live your life, sis.
Dear men, we want you when you're young so we can enjoy life and grow old together. Doctor's visits, blue pills or serving you tea and crackers shouldn't be our best memories of you. We want young husbands.
I Am Suzette Campbell
Note: Originally published on May 21, 2022
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