As I opened my eyes, the first thought that crossed my mind was, “I’m late!” I was hoping that this was not the case, but as I jumped out of bed in a bad rush and saw 5:21am on the clock, I knew my worst fear had come true. There is no way my son and I would leave at our regularly scheduled time. It was going to be a horrible day!
My day would be ruined on several counts. First, there would not be enough time to make myself a healthy breakfast, so I would have to order from a restaurant and be forced to eat whatever unnecessary ingredients they have added to the food to make me gain more of the weight that I am trying to lose. On top of that, it would be an unnecessary expenditure, which put a dent into my budget, as I already have more than enough food at home which was included in a hefty supermarket bill. What a waste!
The next thing is, I would not be able to leave at a comfortable hour which would see me escaping the traffic which would not only burn the gas, make me tired and late, but it would also rob me of a comfortable morning drive in which I can roll my windows down and enjoy the fresh, cool air without the hustle and bustle of crazy drivers who are late and hell bent on getting to their destination dead or alive.
I would arrive at the office tired, late, and miserable, which is less than ideal for a creative or a manager of a department. Thrown off kilter, coffee would be a must. There goes my grand crusade to not drink coffee every day. Tea bag, chocolate, Milo, etc., would not cut it today. I can see my friend, Janine rolling her eyes now, because all she drinks is coffee, so I have no support in this. And like a dealer, she’s got the good stuff.
My son, Malik does not like to be rushed, so we would go to war trying to get him ready in record time. Miserable Mom + Miserable Child = Bad Idea!
Within less than 2 minutes, my racing mind had played all the above scenarios as I raced through the house flipping switches with a speed that neither Elaine nor Shelly-Ann could keep up with. “How did I miss the alarm?” I asked myself. I am sure it is set. Did I sleep through it? I am thinking that Malik is still asleep, so I need to gently awake him. Oh my God, this is a disaster! My dramatic morning reminds me of that song by Dancehall Artiste, Agent Sasco, titled “Late”. 😊
Suddenly good sense prevailed, and my inner voice said, “Calm down. You’re late and there is nothing you can do.” I stopped running and started walking with steadier breaths. I was now at acceptance. It was at this moment that I noticed the sorted laundry on the floor. I had sorted them overnight to get an early start on Saturday morning, so I could relax in the afternoon. I had it all planned. Wait! Saturday? OMG! I am such a drama queen! It’s Saturday, baby! No work! Woo hoo! Exhale…
I share a little laugh with myself, switch on the washing machine, and crawl back into bed. Malik was still asleep, unfazed by the lights, which I had now switched off. It’s barely 5:30am when I begin to text my mother and sister to tell them what had just transpired with my programmed race against the clock, except it is Saturday morning. Of course, they laughed.
Snuggled up in bed, I reflected on how much of an impact the many demands of life have on us. The job, parenting, etc., programmes us like robots to the extent that one misstep, like 'sleeping' can throw us into a tailspin. Sleep that my body really needs, becomes a crime. We all know that even a 5-minute delay leaving home, can make you 1 hour late. And so what?! It will happen, and when it does, it will be OK...if you let it. A reminder to be gentle with myself. I am doing my best. I have found that when I am late, my response to that reality makes all the difference. How are you responding when things don't go according to plan?
Enjoy your weekend!
P.S. If you missed me, I needed a break following a hectic couple of months. It feels great to be back in my happy space…just me and my pen. Although, we haven’t been entirely separated, as I have been busy in the opinion section of the local daily newspapers. Those are saved on my Linktree account https://linktr.ee/iamsuzettecampbell. One Love!
I am Suzette Campbell
Note: Originally published on October 9, 2022
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