Wanna know why my bedroom now smells like BOP, there's a stick, plus a broom in a corner, furniture out of place, my previously well-made bed a mess, curtains wrapped around the rods, etc.?
Moments ago I was sitting on my bed, han a mi jaw...like I'd just lost a match.
I thought I did!
It was me vs a little common lizard who decided to ruin my Sunday by making its way into my bedroom.
I was in the middle of recording a voice note to my friend when I came in and saw it on the wall. Oh, the horror! Voice note cancelled! Mi no badda waa chat. Netflix lock off too because I need silence to concentrate.
Running around like a mad woman, I find my two familiar weapons...Bop Insecticide Spray and a broom! A few minutes later, I am sweating from standing on and running across the bed, jumping off on the floor, etc. Definitely not what comes to mind when one thinks of sweating in a bedroom.
Malik peeks from his bedroom to see what the commotion is about, but I tell him stay away from the scent of insect spray.
Because...memba!
All the while this little creature is making a mockery of me in my own house. Finally I corner it, and it is trying to make its way back out the window but that one always stays closed because more plants are near there and I just know! Too bad, I have no faith that it will find the window it came through, and wi naa sleep in ya tonight.
Spray and Bop it!
Zas Chrise! Di lizard no run unda di bed!!! The next couple hours (yes, hours) are spent going in and out of the bedroom, moving the bed, etc., occasionally to see if it will crawl out. Because how am I to sleep knowing there's a lizard in my bedroom that could crawl on me???
Oh, the horror!
Flash forward to me sitting on the bed hours later thinking that this isn't why I finished dinner early. Thank goodness I had finished Season 6 of The Crown earlier. But I was all set for a relaxing Sunday, not the Lizard Olympics.
Of course, my friends and family had to be made aware of the disaster unfolding at my house. Not that they could help, but shout out to y'all for giving a listening ear and checking in on the progress of my Sunday project.
Just as I told them I've all but given up [quietly making plans to sleep in another room], I decided to check under the bed again...this time with a stick. And there it was...dead! Back outside where it belongs.
Whew!
Now, I need to remake the bed, put everything back in place and plug in the diffuser to rid the space of the scent of Bop.
Husband criteria number 6 - must be highly proficient in lizard eradication. Also note, we are not living in Florida, Cayman, Australia, nor any other creepy crawlie loving place.
The Kremi ice cream van came, and I got Blueberry. Time to enjoy what's left of my Sunday.
I Am Suzette Campbell
Note: Originally published on January 24, 2024
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