Let me see a show of hands if you thought that being an adult meant you would have your own money, go wherever and whenever you want to without permission, turn your own key, say exactly how you feel without consequences, nobody could tell you what to do, be friends with whoever, no chores, and all the other things your young, wild imagination told you would happen once you were all grown up. Well, the truth is that all these have happened. But there are things nobody told us about adulting or the grown-up life.
First of all...Did you know that adulting is a real word? The Cambridge Dictionary defines it as actions and behaviour that are considered typical of adults, not children or young people.
Money
It turns out that in order to have the money, we have to work all day, almost every day. The 9 to 5 pretty much eclipses your daylight hours when you add the commute to and from. And it becomes a never-ending mission to earn more because sometimes it’s just not enough. The bills our parents once paid, are now ours to pay! YAY!
The long list includes some fixed ones like mortgage/rent, car loan, travelling (petrol, bus/taxi fare), grocery, utilities (light, water, telephone, internet, etc.), and it goes on. If you are a parent, that adds another full list of bills.
A good portion of our money doesn’t in fact stay in our pockets! It often disappears faster than it comes to handle responsibilities.
Freedom
How about being too tired from working to actually go anywhere? And when you are not working, there is some other adulting responsibility to take care of, like running errands, and so on. Going home at the end of the day becomes an extreme sport. Have you seen those memes about rushing home as if you are late to go home? Truthfully, at times it feels like I am late to get home, because being out late after work reduces the ‘recovery time’ needed to refuel for the next day. So, yes, I am late.
Independence
Ha! It’s a trap! It’s overrated. Sometimes, having someone else figure it out and tell you what to do, isn’t so bad after all. Here we are adulting – meditating and practicing mindfulness to ease our busy minds, using diaries or planners to stay on course with duties/goals, and making big life-changing decisions all by ourselves which at times feels like a gamble because we don’t actually know what we’re doing.
If you are a parent, there’s a young human (a dependent) looking to you in the same manner that you used to look to your parents whilst quietly hoping you didn’t have to, because one day you’ll be all grown-up.
Chores
Remember those dishes we hated getting assigned to wash? If only that's all we had to do as grown-ups. The dishes really don't wash themselves. Neither does the rest of the house. Take me back! LOL!
Love
Let’s just say, this is no fairytale! Nobody is coming to save you. It is at times a game of grown-ups trying to outsmart each other, as they attempt to decipher whether the other’s intentions are pure or they’re up to no good. You will read books, listen to podcasts, TV shows, and so on, trying to understand the opposite sex, and how you can co-exist in the pursuit of happiness. Amid all this, some may discover there is a thin line between love and hate when hearts are broken. And the cycle continues as hurt people, hurt people. Sounds like fun?
Survival and a Few Friends
Why is adulting so hard? How do we survive? Forget what you see on social media; most of it includes stories filtered to show people want one wants them to believe. The cold hard truth is that many adults wake up trying to remember what day it is and then figuring out what is required to get through it successfully – one day, one week, one month, one year, at a time.
If you've never jumped out of bed on a Saturday morning to get ready for work (when the office is closed), are you even an adult? Go back to bed. laugh at yourself, breathe!
Find yourself a few good friends, strike that work-life balance, and try do the things you said you would do when you grew up.
You do not need many friends. Life Coach, Mel Robbins advises to evaluate the quality of your friendships, and that it is important to have a '4am friend'. She explains the concept in her hit Audible podcast, Start Here with Mel Robbins. “I think we’ve all subliminally been told… that there’s something wrong with us if we don’t have a ton of friends or a super-busy social life,” she says.
“And so when you don’t see as many people, especially if you’ve lost some friendships from the past, they can start to feel like maybe there’s something wrong with you. I’m here to tell you there is nothing wrong with you. You just need to change your perspective and where you put your effort when it comes to friendship.”
Mel says your '4am friend' is the one, pivotal person “whom you would feel comfortable phoning at four o’clock in the morning to tell your troubles to”.
Growing up, there were friends that your parents perhaps forbade you to have and that made you sad or resentful. You probably do not like some of them today. Some of us are lucky to still have our childhood friends. Either way, you may have experienced needing a different kind of friend in every season of your life. For example, the term 'work bestie' has become popular in recent years. This person gets you through the tough days at work and also makes fond memories in the workplace.
The point is we need friends to get us through adulting. At times, it's hard to stay in touch amid overwhelm but time out with friends may just be the recharge you need.
I am a fan of TV sitcoms. I loved the raunchy bunch in Girlfriends. Friends is one of my favourites, and I find it to be hilarious! That bunch saw each other through the best and worst. The theme song pretty much says it all!
So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job's a joke, you're broke
Your love life's DOA
It's like you're always stuck in second gear
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month
Or even your year, but
I'll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I'll be there for you
(Like I've been there before)
I'll be there for you
('Cause you're there for me too) …
But long before Friends, there was The Golden Girls. Four retired women in Florida needed roommates to make life easier. That theme song is bound to give you all the feels.
Thank You for being a friend
Travel down a road and back again
Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidante
And if you threw a party, invited everyone you knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say, Thank You For Being a Friend!
Adulting...Not all that it's cracked up to be, huh?
Can we be adults without responsibilities?
I guess not! LOL!
Oh to be a kid again!
Eat, go to school, play, sleep...repeat!
I am Suzette Campbell