We are quite accustomed to the oft repeated phrase, "A good man is hard to find", one of the many that society has used to brainwash women into settling, for fear of losing the last "good man" standing. But I submit that people are people. And therefore, "A good woman is hard to find", as men have come to understand, painfully so.
There are some unhappy men shackled in some toxic homes with women who cheat on them, abuse them, disrespect them, use them for money, won't make them a cup of tea, etc. And perhaps because men don't like to be alone or the idea of letting go, they go outside seeking to fill the void instead.
The thing is, once you become aware of this and are able to set yourself apart from these women, you will have less of an urge to hang on to a man you have earmarked as "good" and therefore the last man standing. Knowing you are a good woman is the confidence boost you need to broaden your scope and definition of what a good man is, enough to reject what isn't for you. A high value woman will attract a high value man, so hang in there.
Proverbs 31 tells us that "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
The woman described in that scripture doesn't come a dime a dozen. And this is why there are many men who are stuck in unhappy unions.
I went in search of a more modern source and found Power of Positivity lists 11 characteristics of a good woman as follows:
1. She inspires you to be a better person.
2. She understands your differences.
3. A good woman is your biggest fan.
4. She makes you feel lucky to be with her.
5. She's not insecure.
6. A good woman won't do things to make you feel jealous.
7. She has her own goals but she regards your relationship as a team.
8. She allows you space.
9. She knows the importance of physical intimacy.
10. She gets along with friends and family.
11. A good woman doesn't have unreasonable relationship expectations.
Number 11 though...beware the women who comes to receive, while giving little to nothing. There is also the moral decay which worsens with time, as women lose their crowns to social media trends, among other things. Then there are those who scoff at the idea of taking care of a man as they see it as being subservient. For me, "good man fi get good tings", as they say in Jamaica. Lol!
Power of Positivity goes on to explain that you don’t need to search for the perfect woman to build a lifelong relationship. While some of the above qualities might seem like a generalisation, the studies prove that you’ve got a good girl in your company. So, if she has most of these characteristics then you know she’s a keeper.
And now a final spin on what a good woman looks like. Some men won't like this but the truth is, you also get what you give. There is a popular meme which alludes to the fact that a woman multiplies whatever she gets, including shit. Power of Positivity says, "a good woman will always feed off on the positive energy of her partner. So, if you’re also good to her, you’ll likely make your relationship work and remain committed to each other."
Words to heed my brothers. All women have vaginas and as men are wired physically, it is easy to get lost in one or a few. But there comes a time when a vagina alone isn't enough. Stay woke, gentlemen. Good women are also hard to find, so quit rubbing in the age old saying, as we are all in the struggle. And to my fellow "good" women, always remember your worth and that you are rare. Forever striving to be this Proverbs 31 woman...
I Am Suzette Campbell
Note: Originally published on June 18, 2022
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